i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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