She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
