I just saw a hot homeless man
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
