Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and she was petting her beer can
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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