I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
