just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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