Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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