Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
