How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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