A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
