On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize