We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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