Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
