youre lurking in front of me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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