You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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