Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
