Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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