My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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