YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
