I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They have beer where we have blood.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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