The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
