shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
