Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
