I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize