She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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