He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
