And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
