im drinking this country out of the recession.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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