I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
