You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
