Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize