girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
