she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
