this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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