In the future we'll all be gay
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
