We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
