but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
