you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
