There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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