Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
