vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize