the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
