I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
