Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
