So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
