In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
