i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
