real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
