can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
