wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
