shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize