you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
