woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
