he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
