my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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