Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
