But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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