Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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