why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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