Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
