Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
